Childlike Faith

I just have to share something that made my heart smile this week!  It's a song that was written by my oldest daughter, Avery.  She's seven years old, but has a faith and understanding that far exceeds her years.  I am so thankful that God has grabbed ahold of her heart at such a young age and I can't wait to see how He uses her!  

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." 

1 Timothy 4:12

A "bump" in the road!

Remember in that first post when I said that we expected to face some bumps during this process??  Well.......we have hit our first real bump...and you can find it on me!!

To say we were surprised would be an understatement!  Upon finding out we were pregnant, we experienced a whole series of emotions from confusion, sadness, anger, disappointment, and loss.  I know that sounds crazy, but you must understand that we were so focused on our adoption path that this unexpected fifth pregnancy made all of those adoption hopes and dreams come to a screeching halt.  A good friend of mine put it into perspective as we were grieving the loss of Baby Burundi--she said that it was normal to feel that way and compared it somewhat to the feelings of loss and grief one experiences with a miscarriage.  We had been praying/dreaming/talking about this child for quite some time and now God was re-routing our path.  But when we really thought about it...what a gift...loss wrapped in life.

As we journeyed through our emotions, we felt God pouring out His peace and love.  It wasn't for us to understand the why of it all.  Why we started the process only to have it stopped so suddenly.  Why God wouldn't want us to adopt a child that needed a family.  Trusting that we're going to look back on this time and see so clearly why God re-directed our path.  Trusting that this is all going to make sense and that he has an even better plan for our family.  

On a positive side---we are extremely humbled, blessed, and thankful for this newest little life God has entrusted to us.  It just took us a good week or so to wrap our brains around the reality that I was really pregnant!!  We are now full of excitement and anticipation at what God has in our future!  ALL life is precious and we hope you can understand where our mixed feelings came from at the beginning.  This whole experience has really taught us a lot about trusting God when life doesn't make much sense.

So, what does this mean for our adoption, you ask??  Well, according to our agency policy we had to close our file for Baby Burundi and we have the option of resuming once our youngest child is one year old.  This does NOT mean that we have closed the book on adopting.  We feel that God has laid this on our hearts for a reason and so we are using this time as a gift to really pray, discern, and research where God is leading us.  Perhaps Burundi was just not where God has our child?  Maybe He is just saying, "slow down"?  What we do know is that we are completely at peace with this redirection.  His plan will be revealed in time.

As far as those of you that have supported us through the purchase of OH or Wild Olive gear....those purchases were not for nothing.  Not only did you support a couple of amazing non-profit organizations that give back, but by wearing those shirts you will be raising awareness of the needs of the orphaned....and we THANK YOU for that!!  So much awareness needs to be raised......so please, continue to wear those shirts proudly!!  We plan to gift our OH funds to an awesome Grand Forks family, The Adams, who are adopting from Uganda and also fundraising through OH.  To follow their journey visit their blog @ www.walkinghumblyinlove.blogspot.com.   We plan to gift our Wild Olive funds to another adoptive family as well and again we can't thank you enough for your kind words and prayers of support and encouragement throughout all of this.

Oh, and baby Horken #5 is due around April 6th!  :)

Sixty Feet

Last winter on our mission trip to Uganda I experienced something that shook me to the core and affected me in such a way that I want everyone to know and be aware of the immense suffering and injustice that is happening to children, God's children, in Uganda.

I personally invite you to come and learn about the ministry of Sixty Feet as two of their founders share a documentary film about what this ministry is doing to improve the lives and restore hope, in the name of Jesus, to the imprisoned children of Africa.  The work that God is doing through these ordinary men and women is nothing short of amazing!

WHAT:  Showing of the 60 Feet film, Beloved

WHERE:  Hope Church Grand Forks, ND

WHEN:  Sunday, September 16th at 7:30pm

(childcare available)

Open to the public

The things I saw, experienced, and felt while working with this ministry will forever be etched into my mind and heart.  Holding a too small for her age 18 month old in my arms that has been "imprisoned"for almost a year....feeling the smooth, raised areas of burn scars that covered her little body....wondering what could have happened that would have caused those scars and what kind of "scars" is she holding onto from within.
Just sitting with this little one as she melted onto my body and rested her little head on my shoulder.  Allowing her to lay on me for a couple of hours, knowing that it's been far too long since she's felt a mothers love.  Feeding this precious, emotionless child her posho and beans with my bare hands while sitting on the concrete floor surrounded by far too many other children.    Again, letting this same sweet child sleep longer in my arms once finished with her meal.  I almost couldn't let my thoughts run free for fear that I would break down sobbing.
As our team leader said it was time to say our good-byes to the children, I looked around to see who would take my spot in holding this perfect little girl as she slept so soundly.  It was then that I realized that once we left-so did all of the available and eager arms to embrace these children and tell them how loved they are.  Reality hit when not only was there no one to hold this child, but there was nowhere to lay her down to sleep.  I felt a lump forming in my throat when a child, no older than 8, was instructed by one of the far to few caretakers to take the child from my arms and lay her down with the others.  I knew what this meant as I walked away....she was not being taken to a cozy crib to sleep...no...no...she was laid in the corner of the room in which we ate, on a cold, concrete floor along with about 5 other children her age all slumped together.  As a mother, my heart broke!  The thought that this was daily life for these children!  Naked little bottoms exposed, wearing only rags of clothing on top and sleeping on a concrete floor....unimaginable!

This place is only one of several places like it in Uganda where children are often wrongfully "imprisoned",  abandoned, and forgotten.  Sixty Feet is working to remove the most vulnerable children, restore hope, share and show the love of Christ, provide clean water, sanitation, medicine, and provide educational opportunities.

Come.  Listen.  Learn.  And see for yourself how ordinary people can make an extra-ordinary difference for God's kingdom!  We'd love to see you there!

For more information on Sixty Feet visit:  www.sixtyfeet.org
    

An Exercise in Trust

     Since we don't have anything new or exciting to share in regards to our adoption I am choosing to use this quiet time as a gift to just "be still and know that He is God". ---Psalm 46:10.  Now, this is very difficult for me to do because I have a terrible habit of needing...wanting...demanding to know what the next step is and what is coming around the corner.  However, when I really sit back and think about what it means to TRUST God, it means the exact opposite.
     Merriam Webster's definition of the word trust is, "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed."
     My constant desire to know what God's next move is actually me not fully trusting God and His perfect plans for my life.  The truth of it is, in our culture, how often have we really had to TRUST God?  I mean really trust Him.  For most of us (me included) we can say we're trusting God, but in reality we're  pretty good at being self-sufficient.  Our cupboards and freezers are fully stocked with a variety of foods to last us way beyond a few weeks of no trips to the grocery store.  Our closets are over-flowing with clothing options.  Our homes function more as entertainment centers (full of toys and electronic gadgets) rather than a shelter to keep us warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  What I'm trying to get at is that although God has given us all jobs that enable us to have these luxuries-we have them in excess.  And because all of these things are at our fingertips whenever we want, we've excessed our way out of relying on God for life's necessities.
     I think that's why I am struggling with trust right now.  Because when I think back on how many times I have actually had to blindly trust God when things are out of my control.....those times are really very few.  I am really good at playing tug-of-war with God when it comes to control----constantly pulling back against Him, so that I feel more in control.  So, I am choosing to be thankful for this time of uncertainty and unpredictability because it is causing me to exercise my TRUST in our Heavenly Father.
     Proverbs 3:5-6 keeps coming to mind,
     "TRUST in the Lord with ALL your heart, on your own intelligence DO NO RELY; In ALL your ways be mindful of him, and he will MAKE STRAIGHT YOUR PATHS."
     I mean, let's be real, whose intelligence is it better to rely on---mine or God's?  I think the answer is pretty obvious!!

A Very "General" Timeline...Subject To Change!

One of the main questions I've been asked lately is, "When will your baby come home?"  Oh, if only I had my Magic Eight Ball from childhood that I could ask that very same question to!!  I have a feeling that more than likely it's response would be (after giving it a real good shake)... "ASK AGAIN LATER" or "YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT"

Thankfully, we don't operate based on the answers of a foolish toy!  Our agency has given us a breakdown of a very general timeline for the whole process.  Keep in mind, in the adoption world things can change very quickly-especially when dealing with a country that is new to international adoption.  Here is a rough look at what's to come:

1.)  At this moment-working on the mandatory 10hrs of pre-adoption education.

2.)  Mid September-go to St. Paul for one day on-site training.

3.)  Begin home study process after training completion----that process takes 3-4 months.

4.)  After completed and approved home study-begin & submit Dossier---2-6 mo.

****A dossier is a compilation of paperwork said to demonstrate your "fitness" to adopt.**** 

5.)  Receive Child referral

6.)  Upon acceptance of referral--wait 2-3 months before traveling to bring our child home!!  

7.)  Once in-country we expect to spend 7-10 days in Burundi and then an additional 5 days in Kenya to complete the U.S. Visa processing.  

8.)  Then, home to be a family!!!  

Join us.....

Now that we're getting the word out that we've decided to adopt we'd like to ask each of you to join us on this journey.  I can speak from personal experience that something changes inside of you when you move from just hearing or reading about someone's adoption journey and actually take part in it.  Suddenly, you become invested in the process-the journey-and you care about the outcome.

A simple way to join us is to pray.  It's just that easy.  "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."--Matthew 21:22

Another way you can take part in this process is by participating in one of our fundraising efforts.  You'll see along the right side of the blog two "buttons" that are links to online stores that we are using to assist us raising some money.

The first one, Ordinary Hero, is a nonprofit, 501c3, child advocacy organization.  Their goal is to encourage and provide a way for every person to make a difference in the life of a child in need, through adoption, missions, or local outreach.  They also strive to bring worldwide, public awareness to the orphan crisis.  They believe every child needs a hero, wants a hero, and is looking for a hero.  We believe that hero is you!

By clicking on the OH button, you will be directed to the fundraising store.  Simply select some fun and fashionable gear for yourself and your family and select my name from the drop down list under "affiliate" during the check-out process.  Forty percent of every purchase will be sent to our agency and put directly toward our adoption costs!

The second "button" will direct you to the website for Wild Olive Tees.  You MUST check out these adorable women's and children's tees---so cute!  Not only are these t-shirts awesome, but you will be spreading the Word of God just by wearing them!!  A win-win!  In order for us to receive a portion of each t-shirt sale, you FIRST need to shop the Adoption Fundraiser Tees.  These are designed especially for us fundraising folk!  Again, during the check-out process simply enter our "family code"  HORKEN719 to ensure we receive the credit!

We would greatly appreciate your support throughout this process-whether through prayer or by purchasing and wearing our fundraising apparel.  Many thanks and happy shopping!!

Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build-up) one another, just as you are doing.--- 1 Thessalonions 5:11

Burundi In The News

Here is a brief video clip of a news report that was done on our agency, Lutheran Social Services of MN, and the Burundi adoption pilot program.

Northland's News Center: A Story on Burundi Adoptions