A "bump" in the road!

Remember in that first post when I said that we expected to face some bumps during this process??  Well.......we have hit our first real bump...and you can find it on me!!

To say we were surprised would be an understatement!  Upon finding out we were pregnant, we experienced a whole series of emotions from confusion, sadness, anger, disappointment, and loss.  I know that sounds crazy, but you must understand that we were so focused on our adoption path that this unexpected fifth pregnancy made all of those adoption hopes and dreams come to a screeching halt.  A good friend of mine put it into perspective as we were grieving the loss of Baby Burundi--she said that it was normal to feel that way and compared it somewhat to the feelings of loss and grief one experiences with a miscarriage.  We had been praying/dreaming/talking about this child for quite some time and now God was re-routing our path.  But when we really thought about it...what a gift...loss wrapped in life.

As we journeyed through our emotions, we felt God pouring out His peace and love.  It wasn't for us to understand the why of it all.  Why we started the process only to have it stopped so suddenly.  Why God wouldn't want us to adopt a child that needed a family.  Trusting that we're going to look back on this time and see so clearly why God re-directed our path.  Trusting that this is all going to make sense and that he has an even better plan for our family.  

On a positive side---we are extremely humbled, blessed, and thankful for this newest little life God has entrusted to us.  It just took us a good week or so to wrap our brains around the reality that I was really pregnant!!  We are now full of excitement and anticipation at what God has in our future!  ALL life is precious and we hope you can understand where our mixed feelings came from at the beginning.  This whole experience has really taught us a lot about trusting God when life doesn't make much sense.

So, what does this mean for our adoption, you ask??  Well, according to our agency policy we had to close our file for Baby Burundi and we have the option of resuming once our youngest child is one year old.  This does NOT mean that we have closed the book on adopting.  We feel that God has laid this on our hearts for a reason and so we are using this time as a gift to really pray, discern, and research where God is leading us.  Perhaps Burundi was just not where God has our child?  Maybe He is just saying, "slow down"?  What we do know is that we are completely at peace with this redirection.  His plan will be revealed in time.

As far as those of you that have supported us through the purchase of OH or Wild Olive gear....those purchases were not for nothing.  Not only did you support a couple of amazing non-profit organizations that give back, but by wearing those shirts you will be raising awareness of the needs of the orphaned....and we THANK YOU for that!!  So much awareness needs to be raised......so please, continue to wear those shirts proudly!!  We plan to gift our OH funds to an awesome Grand Forks family, The Adams, who are adopting from Uganda and also fundraising through OH.  To follow their journey visit their blog @ www.walkinghumblyinlove.blogspot.com.   We plan to gift our Wild Olive funds to another adoptive family as well and again we can't thank you enough for your kind words and prayers of support and encouragement throughout all of this.

Oh, and baby Horken #5 is due around April 6th!  :)